US naSHITnal team 0, England 2

Wow. I knew the US was bad. I did not know just how bad until Wednesday. What a gutless, toothless performance. We were outclassed in every area of the pitch. Did we even have a shot on goal before little Freddy Adu’s speculative effort from 25 yards out? Fucking disgusting.

Actually, what really upsets me isn’t so much the performance, but the underlying qualities of the players on our side. Eddie Johnson and Josh Wolff up front? THIS IS THE BEST A NATION OF 250 MILLION CAN PRODUCE????? A guy who can’t get off the bench at Fulham partnered with a player who can’t even get an MLS contract. Surely the Chelsea United backline of England was shaking in their boots at the prospect of facing these guys.

And our captain is Carlos Bocanegra. Carlos Bocanegra. What do coaches- particularly American ones- see in this guy? He is good for at least one opposition goal every match. His gaffs at Fulham are too numerous to list (though they did land him a place on the bench alongside all the other US national team members) but for me his display against Ghana in the World Cup a couple years ago sums it all up. With a Ghanese attacker on his heels on the touchline, CB plays a beautiful ball across the goal to a totally unmarked Ghanaian, who finishes with ease. It was really a classic piece of football magic. After the match, Arena singled out CB for praise, saying he had a “hell of a game.” Try as I might I couldn’t find any hint of irony in his voice. He was being serious. And now this dipshit is captain under Bradley. Just perfect.

England’s first goal came from a Bocanegra error, giving that fucking spikey haired crybaby cunt John Terry an opening as wide as a handicapped parking spot to connect with Beckham’s free kick. Bocanegra must have been the only one on the pitch not to have seen that play coming.

But I digress. Like I said, the thing that scared me about Wednesday’s match wasn’t that it was a bad performance. That I could handle. What bothers me is that I don’t think it was a bad performance for this team. It’s just a shit team, through and through, and we lack any world-caliber players. We’re supposed to be better than this by now. God dammit.